I Need To Diet, But He Doesn’t

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Tips On What To Do When You Need To Diet, But He Doesn’t 

This can be a challenge when one person in a marriage want to lose some weight, but no one else in the household needs that.  How do you get the support you need to be successful in your efforts, but not make things hard on your partner.  This is an interesting article by a dietitian, Susan Bowerman.  She has some great tips you might find useful.

Couples ­- one wants to diet and one doesn’t. What next?

What happens if one person needs to diet and the other one doesn’t? This week, I’ll look at how couples can support each other throughout a lifestyle change.

Do you remember the old nursery rhyme about Jack Sprat who ate no fat, while his wife “could eat no lean”?  As the tale goes, things with Jack and his wife worked out pretty nicely – he ate his foods, she ate hers – and between them, they “licked the platter clean”.  But what happens in real life?  How do couples work it out when one person needs to lose weight and the other one doesn’t?

Let’s say you’re the one who’s got to watch your calories.  You’re determined, you’ve got a plan – and you really need your partner to support you in your efforts.  In order to do that, it helps to have a good understanding of how your partner might be affected, and also how to reasonably ask for support.

What you do affects the other person, too

When one half of a couple decides to diet, it impacts both parties.  When you announce that you’re going on a diet, your partner might be thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this!”  There are probably a lot of things you do together that revolve around food – so your partner is certainly going to wonder what’s going to give.  What will they have to give up? Meals out? Socializing with friends? After all, it’s not just your life that’s changing – theirs is too.

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Seven tips for getting the support you want:

Couple support tip 1 – Don’t think of what you’re doing as ‘a diet’

When you say you’re ‘going on a diet’ it suggests that it’s something you’re ‘on’ for the moment – and will probably be ‘off’ later on.  Instead, focus on simply making better food choices and getting healthier.  Adopting a too-drastic meal plan isn’t something you’ll be able to sustain, anyway, and you shouldn’t expect your partner to go along for the ride.  On the other hand, adopting a healthier diet overall is good for everyone.

Couple support tip 2 – Learn how to ask for support

Asking for your partner’s support isn’t the same thing as asking them to ‘go on a diet’ with you. You want your partner to respect your efforts, and to be willing to do what they can to help.  Often times, your partner wants to be helpful, but just doesn’t know what to do…so be specific.  Planning to go to the gym a few nights a week?  Then ask for help with meal preparation or child care.  If your partner is going to still keep goodies in the house, ask if they can stash them away – and not offer you ‘just a bite’.

Couple support tip 3 – Talk it over ahead of time

You don’t want to suddenly announce that “things are gonna change around here.”  If you negotiate ahead of time, it will be easier for you to figure out how to meet in the middle.  Maybe eating out is problematic for you – but the solution isn’t to tell your partner restaurants are off limits.  You might determine which restaurants offer the best choices for you, or ask if your partner would be willing to share an entrée with you.

Couple support tip 4 – Don’t ask your partner to police you or to berate you if you cheat

For one thing, what you eat is your responsibility, and it’s unfair to place the burden on the other person. And if you do cheat, you’re likely to shift the blame to your partner.  It’s a bad dynamic, so do your best to avoid it.

Couple support tip 5 – Be reasonable in your requests

Be respectful of your partner’s lifestyle, and think about how they might be affected when you make a request.  You might envision your partner going to the gym with you in the evenings, but it’s probably not going to happen if she likes to run outdoors in the mornings.

Couple support tip 6 – Don’t get angry and frustrated with the other person…

…just because they might be lucky enough to be able to eat what they want without gaining.  And feeling sorry for yourself isn’t productive, either.

Couple support tip 7 – Take the focus off the food

You don’t need a heavy, calorie-laden meal to enjoy a night out. Focus instead on how much you enjoy and appreciate the time you’re spending with your partner.  The person you’re with is more than just an eating buddy – and you have plenty of other things you can share besides a large pepperoni pizza.

Herbalife Can Help You Both Feel Better And It is One Program You Can At Least Partially Share Together

Tasty solution that has worked for many couples in this predicament is the use of the Herbalife program.  Using a highly nutritious tasty meal replacement shake twice a day, then eating one regular meal allows you to enjoy a healthy meal together with your spouse.  And because you are getting the best cellular nutrition available, your body doesn’t feel the need to snack to try to capture those missing nutrients that often cause people to overeat.  Go to www.funwithnutrition.com and check out their Quickstart program or if you need extra help, their Advanced or Ultimate.  The Quickstart program is inexpensive and has 30 meals in it.  Plus for a limited time, you can use the coupon code, health4u, for 25% off.  Your spouse may even want to have at least one shake a day with you so he or she can get the balanced nutrition they need.  Test it for yourself.  If you don’t feel more energy or lose weight, they have a 30 day, 100% money back guarantee.   Check out the Quickstart at www.funwithnutrition.com

 

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